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The Doom Loop

Day 1

I walk down the street.

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.

I fall in.

I am lost…

I am hopeless.

It isn’t my fault.

It takes forever to find a way out.

Day 2

I walk down the same street.

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.

I pretend I don’t see it.

I fall in again.

I can’t believe I’m in the same place.

But it isn’t my fault.

It still takes a long time to get out.

Day 3

I walk down the same street.

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.

I see it is there.

I still fall in… it’s a habit.

My eyes are open; I know where I am;

It is my fault.

I get out immediately.

Day 4

I walk down the same street.

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.

I walk around it.

Day 5

I walk down another street.

— Portia Nelson

So much of our lives feels akin to playing a giant, cosmic “Groundhog Day” video game.

Where do you get slayed, flayed or played into making the same fatal mistake – each and every time you put your quarter in, and spin?

I know that much of my own life is ruled by this strange habit of automaticity and self sabotage – this odd attraction of finding the gaping holes – the weird, wobbly, wonky soft spots on the road -feeling their magnetic pull, and with both feet betraying my better directional intuitions- tripping, slipping and falling in.

(only to have to dig another quarter out and spin again 🙂

Setting a mindfulness alarm, for me, is like the ultimate superpower.

It requires that I ask myself – “what are my feet doing?” – and it reminds me, in every moment, I am in control of my character – I know where i’m heading – and I can always choose anew.

I know many of you reading this are following us for entrepreneurial ideas – and I can think of no better advice – for avoiding the “doom loop” – the dubious distractions – the bright and shiny objects that never are quite as bright or shiny up close – than asking yourself something similar – to stay ever vigilant – and always on course.

To me? This is the META rule that rules all other rules.

But ultimately – it’s really about paying full attention to the character of our lives.

What are my feet doing?

What is my heart doing?

Am I awake and in control?

Or am I just sleep walking through busy, hazy days that will invariably conspire to lead me, and bury me back in the bottom of the same ditch I tripped, slipped and fell in last week?

The bane of the doom loop – the thing that makes it so depressing and frustrating and aggravating, paradoxically, is also it’s liberating virtue.

You always get to choose anew.

No matter how many times you’ve found yourself on the wrong end of a deep ditch looking up and wondering how you got there, today, you’re feet are back on a firm foundation.

The path ahead is dimly lit – but NOW, you know where the potholes and road blocks are.

So pay attention on the path. Walk confidently, but carefully.

And keep a pocket full of quarters. Just in case you want to spin again.

🙂

The 5 Types of People To Surround Yourself With

This may be a bit of an idea that’s jumped the shark (now that we’re all living in perpetual pajamas and staring at our cats 🙂 but this really resonates with me from both a sanity check…..as well as an entrepreneurial standpoint.

Surround yourself with people who inspire you, who encourage you, who challenge you, who make you think (differently) and who make you want to grow.

You Are Going to Embarrass Yourself

So just relax.  

And embrace it.

I actually don’t buy in to the “if your product doesn’t embarrass your team, you’ve launched too late” idea.

I’m much more accustomed to the accidental, un-intentional embarrassment that inevitably arises EVEN when you’ve waited to work out the kinks – and double check the details.

It matters not.  In the fullness of time – and with the benefit of hindsight, the early version – is still going to suck.

Launch it anyway.

Life is short.

And if you’re perpetually aiming, thinking, planning, aiming, ruminating, planning, strategizing, ruminating, and endlessly aiming yet again – you’re simply pretending.

Play acting.

And lying to yourself – and everyone around you.

To be an entrepreneur – at any level, you’ve got to “ship” something.

Launch something.  Build something that actually sees the light of day.

Something that’s  subject to scorn – eye rolling – criticism or condemnation.

If you’re not doing that – right now – if you’re still talking about the project you conceptualized back in 2014 – but has never seen the light of day – my best advice is –  decide to embarrass yourself.

Or don’t.  But simply decide to do something.

Right now – in this very moment, commit.

And then – just launch something that matters.

To you – to your community – to your family – to your future.

And ultimately…..win or lose – transforms your sense of who you are in the world.

Don’t wait.

Because if you wait another week, you’ll wait another month.

And if you wait another month – you minus well not wait at all.

Because we both know you’re not going to follow through – yet again.

I say this not to be mean – but to keep it real.

I published a short book called “Flow” a few years ago.  It was very personal, and sort of captured my moods and meditations as I traveled around as a bit of a digital nomad….after a series of bad breakups.  (both personally and professionally)

I was nervous about publishing it – simply because, I didn’t want to embarrass myself.

The first 20 or 25 reviews were really, really good, but that’s mostly because they were subscribers and clients and even strangers who knew my “work”.

One day I got a random, bad review.  Which surprised me – and stung more than I expected.

And I felt myself retreating into that – “Am I going to embarrass myself?” mental space.

Is it ready?  Do I deserve the credit – the kudos – and the community I know this book will bring?

A few days later – some guy left a 1 star review that ended with “I think I need a shower after reading this” (and I’m paraphrasing, but it’s pretty close:)

Suddenly – I felt exposed.

It was a beautiful day.  And I was in a beautiful place doing work that I loved – with people that I loved.  And yet – when I saw that review on Amazon – under my name – under my work – I panicked.

I packed up my stuff, sprinted the 1/2 mile home – and removed the book from Amazon- where it remains, unpublished, as I write this in May of 2020.

After all – I had embarrassed myself – and the only remedy – is retreat and reconsider.  (which of course, as an artist or entrepreneur – is really, really the wrong response)

A few days ago, in that strange serendipitious way the universe conspires to confound us and gently nudge us in the direction of our dreams – I got a message on our mindful marketplace FB page – from a fairly well known yoga author & teacher – who said he was checking out our page, thought I looked familiar – and  remembered he had read “Flow” years ago.  He told me how much he liked it – and how meaningful he found it’s message.

We briefly chatted on the phone this morning.

And I decided.

I’m republishing that book this month.

Primarily – as a way to help sell author marketing services to the aspiring authors in our community.

But I’m also doing it as a reminder – to myself.

That life is short.

And if you want to do great things:

Perfection is never on offer.

And hiding ain’t an option.

So decide.  Commit.  And begin.  I promise, win or lose, the winds of courage and commitment will always be at your back.

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Unstuck Yourself

There is now a window where once there was only a wall. – Ben Cerveny

Sometimes we’re not stuck. We’re just not willing to look at the wide and wonderful new world that waits beyond the window.

Don’t sell yourself short.

It’s amazing how much you can do in a day. How much progress you can make. How much passion you can produce. 

How much excitement and enthusiasm you can animate. Re-energize. Re-discover. And reclaim.

If all you see are walls – know that they are often, merely windows in disguise.

Take a step back. And look again

PS – We are MindfulMarketplace. Our mission is to empower & inspire 1 million new entrepreneurs to write books, build brands and tell stories that change the world.

We do that by offering a custom suite of innovative products, programs, content and courses for new authors & entrepreneurs who are committed to ethically amping up their audience, impact and income in 2020.

If you have an inspirational message that the world needs to hear, and you need a gentle nudge in the direction of your dreams, call us! (but please inbox or email hi@mindfulmarketplace.com to schedule first 🙂

My phone number is 302-547-0578

Teach what you know. Do what you love. Wake up the world with your work. Join us. 

What I Learned From the Toughest Man on the Planet

David Goggins is often called the toughest man on earth.

Whether that’s true or not of course, is impossible to know.

He is however, one bad dude 🙂

I’m not a navy seal. I’m not a marathon runner. I don’t care about pull ups, breaking endurance records or breaking my body in the pursuit of achieving either.

But I still find David Goggins to be an incredible example of the sort of inspiration that I need in my life.

Goggins constantly refers to the moment he discarded his old, overweight, overworked and underachieving self, for the new super hero he has since become.

He can’t go 30 minutes without reminding the rest of us about his relentless pursuit of becoming the “baddest man on the planet.”

That’s not really a goal I care too much about either.

But listening to him describe his process — using that relentless voice to prod and push and move and motivate him to move mountains in pursuit of that title…that has real value in my life.

It’s easy to get up in the morning and lose my freedom.

It’s easy to begin to point fingers, to play the blame game, to seek out the shoulders of others on which to foist my own failures, frailties and frustrations.

But when I tell myself , today — “I’m going to become the most forgiving person on the planet” — or the “most compassionate, kindest, caring person to ever walk the face of the earth” — I know I’m not going to win the award.

But I also know I’m going to fail well.

There is merit in setting outrageous intentions — and goals — that elevate, uplift and inspire you to do great things — in the service of other things you believe in — or want to build — or become.

Don’t aspire to build a little business that makes your community a better place to live. Aspire to build the business that changes the world.

Thing bigly 🙂

Act outrageously.

Be courageous, confident and committed to breaking your boundaries, exploring your edges and doing something that you come FULLY alive.

It’s not magic. It’s a single switch — and as Goggins would tell you — it’s always within reach.

De-Mystifying Mindfulness (And an invitation to Help Write a Book That Changes the World)

“What IS mindfulness? What does it REALLY mean? What does it DO? Is it a “real” thing…..or just a fancy word for people who burn incense and like Yanni 🙂

And is there an official definition?

One of the surprising things we’ve learned building a “mindfulness” based platform with tens of thousands of subscribers, students, fans, followers, clients and community readers, is how many definitions of mindfulness there really are.

Being mindful, or living mindfully, in turns out, means very different things, to many different people.

And it continues to amaze and inspire us how so many unexpected, and even unconventional interpretations of what mindfulness means has influenced so many people to live with more power, presence, purpose and peace.

And with a new mindfulness practice book already planned for early 2020, I had an idea:

Rather than trying to cram one RIGHT definition of mindfulness down the collective craws of our community, we’ve decided to step BACK and instead….ASK leading thought leaders, speakers, seekers, healers, teachers, therapists, yogi’s, authors, artists and entrepreneurs to come together and share what mindfulness means to YOU.

So…..

Want to write a book with us?

We’ll publish your story, anecdote, quote or blurb in the new book ( titled “Mindfulness Is…..” set to be published on Amazon on April 10th. We’ll include your favorite photo, a link to your website or store, and prominent promotion across our platform as we lead up to book launch day and beyond.

We’ll also be creating a dedicated community site that will feature all of our contributing authors…..and will include your wise words, along with a picture, short bio, link to your website, social media, and much more.

Are you in?

Awesome! (and we made it easy!)

Just add your submission below.

https://mindful.typeform.com/to/vfbUIh

Share your favorite definition of #mindfulness, and get your entry published in a new book featuring some of the best mindfulness teachers, trainers and practitioners in the world.

Do that here:

https://mindful.typeform.com/to/vfbUIh

Got questions? We love questions! Ask away!

by email – hi@mindfulmarketplace.com

on FB @themindfulmarket – http://facebook.com/themindfulmarket

or by phone – 302-547-0578 (that’s my personal number – feel free to connect anytime)

We are MindfulMarketplace.com

We help enlightened entrepreneurs tell stories that change the world

Our mission is to empower a new generation of mindful leaders to build brands & launch movements that make a meaningful impact in mental health, community wellness, personal growth, spiritual development and “enlightened” entrepreneurialism. Have a big idea? Need help getting your message out to your audience?

Say hi! By email (hi@mindfulmarketplace.com) here on FB, or by phone (302)547-0578 – we’re always happy to help!

How Can I Help?

How can i help? 

 Who can I serve? 

Where can I stand up, show up, and support?

I’ve been re-reading many of the late Ram Dass’s great quotes and stumbled on an old somewhat obscure book he co-wrote called “How Can I Help?”

It’s a homage to the helpers.  The healers.  The heroes. 

The ones who stand up, show up, and quite often, offer up their fragile frames as a firm foundation for the elevation of others.

It reminds me, once again, how true freedom (of any kind) is rarely found in the usual places and spaces within which we seek them.

Instead, it’s through service. Through curiosity, compassion, connection & community.

As Ram Dass taught us, this is the Bodhisattva’s path.

But as Kobe Bryant has shown us, it’s the warriors road as well.

I grew up in a quaint suburb not all that far from Lower Merion – where Kobe Bryan, several years later, and not yet old enough to drive, appeared out of the ether to electrify audiences all over the globe.

Kobe was an electrifying enigma – and a puzzle of paradoxes.

Being a life long basketball fan – for a long time, Kobe was the hometown boy who we all called our own. His growing star cast a warm and wonderful glow on those of us who called the Philadelphia area home.

And yet, when, as a Laker he returned to Philadelphia to play Allen Iverson and our beloved 76ers in the finals back in 2010, he famously told “us” he had come back to “cut our hearts out”.

(which he then proceeded to do 🙂

That hurt.

 Not just the losing. But the feeling of being betrayed by one of your own.

Other than recognizing his obvious greatness on the court, I didn’t really pay too much attention to Kobe in the years that followed.

And yet, like other unexpected and sudden seismic shocks I’ve felt in my life – I will always remember the precise moment I read the news.

What I’ve learned about Kobe is how his greatness and his exquisite athleticism was only a single side to a complex coin.

And how happily he helped.

It’s impossible to ignore that his legacy is so much more than what he accomplished as a professional athlete.

Instead, it was his willingness to use his preternatural gifts, talents and platform to reach down and elevate so many others.

Whether that’s on the basketball court, or in the much wider ocean of every day life the rest of us mere mortals swim, it matters not.
A winner isn’t someone who stands on the roof and shouts about the great view. She reaches her hand down, and pulls you up, so you can see it too.

All of us can do that. 

 For someone who can’t yet quite see the view we do.

As Ram Dass captured so beautifully through a lifetime of service, it begins with a question.

How can I help? Where am I needed? And when do I start?

Sometimes the answers are elusive.

But “when” is the easy part.

Just start.

Right now.

Because life is short.

And tomorrow is just a dream.

So wherever you are.

And in whatever you do.

Just begin.

We are MindfulMarketplace.com

We help aspiring authors, transformational teachers, heroic healers, blogging bodhisattva’s, inspirational architects, mindful marketers, spiritual storytellers &enlightened entrepreneurs write books, teach courses, build brands &create communities that change the world.

Do what you love for a living &wake up the world with your work.

Join us.

#Manifesto

This we Believe.

We believe in Kindness.

In Compassion.

Connection.

And Community.

We believe that our minds are magical.

But that our hearts are where are true power lies.

We believe that everyone should get comfortable naked.

And embrace your eccentricities.

We believe in making MISTAKES.

And that getting your face MUDDY and MESSY is part of the fun.

We believe in asking EMPOWERING questions.

And letting the unexpected answers appear.

We believe you should SHARE your Flare.

We believe that making people BETTER is the GREATEST

Good You Can Do.

(& the most ethical way to parlay your PURPOSE into

into a PROFITABLE business, too)

We believe that you should try to HUG a STRANGER everyday

& be the BEST part of someone’s day…..even if they’re a WORLD away.

We believe in cultivating CONFIDENCE through creativity, community, connection and curiosity.

We believe in inspired ideas.

But that execution is everything.

We believe that KINDNESS is CONTAGIOUS.

We believe in INSPIRATION over DESPERATION.

CONTRIBUTION over cash .

AND PASSION, and purpose over pure PROFIT.

We believe in giving back.

And paying it forward.

We believe that it’s NEVER too late to begin again.

We believe in ELIMINATING excuses.

That you’re ready right now.

And that the BEST is yet to come.

We believe in making NEW RULES.

In FREEDOM, fierce Focus, Fulfillment and FUN.

We believe in making GRATITUDE your GURU.

We believe that curiosity is sexy.

And that IMAGINATION, inspiration & INNOVATION are within us all.

We believe that sometimes you need to stop SEEKING.

And just sit still.

And that the true WISDOM often lies within.

We believe that you need a good STRATEGY to succeed.

But a better STORY that inspires you to START

We believe that alone we can change a neighborhood.

But TOGETHER….we can change the world.

We believe that EVERY blog, BRAND, and every BUSINESS needs a MANIFESTO……

And if you’re STILL reading this far….

We BELIEVE in YOU

We are MindfulMarketplace.com. Our mission is to empower 1 million new entrepreneurs to write books, build brands, create communities and tell stories that change the world. Teach what you know. Do what you love. Wake up the world with your work. Join us!

http://partners.mindfulmarketplace.com